one time at starbucks on my cup they wrote “fuck i can’t remember your name”
what do you mean 1800 was 212 years ago
frickingloki: sassy-gay-karkat: its the year 4012 and madagascar 267 is officially in theatres they still arent in new york
Notice how all of humanity has just gone downhill since they declared that Pluto was not a planet anymore
My 8 year old sister's advice on boys.
Me: What do you do when you like a boy?
Sister: You tell him.
Me: And if he doesn't like you?
Sister: You kill him.
yllis: Me when i try to make a friend
laughing-nancy: when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh” we all know he didn’t say lol
mom: what time did you go to bed last night?
me: that information is confidential
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
my favorite hobby is avoiding people from school in public places
me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing
mom 4 hours ago: we're only staying for 30 minutes
pfefferi: contrary to popular belief, vincent van gogh actually cut his ear off so he could not hear the haters
me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs